Baby shower invitations you can send as a link

The host of a baby shower is usually not the person being celebrated, which makes the invite a little harder to write. You are asking people to give up a Saturday afternoon and spend money, on behalf of someone who would probably be too shy to ask. Clear beats charming, and the two are not in conflict.

Bringalong makes the invite page in about a minute, with no account and nothing for guests to install. You share one public link in a chat or by email, and keep a private manage link with the replies. Guests tap Going, Maybe or Can't go, add a dietary note, and leave a message for the parents if they want to.

When to hold a baby shower, and when to send the invite

Between 28 and 34 weeks is the window most hosts aim for. The pregnancy is comfortably public, the nursery still needs filling, and the parents are not yet at the stage of refusing to sit on low furniture. Earlier than 26 weeks and guests tend to buy the wrong sizes; later than 36 and you risk the baby arriving before the cake does.

Send invites four to six weeks ahead, with a reply date two weeks before the day. If guests are traveling in, go to eight weeks. A shower after the birth, sometimes called a sip and see, works well for second and third babies, and it comes with the advantage that the guest of honor can hold a glass of wine.

1. 6 weeks out: date agreed with the parents, venue or house confirmed, link sent.
2. 4 weeks out: registry live and linked, menu decided.
3. 2 weeks out: RSVP date, final food count, order the cake.
4. 1 week out: seating, games set up in a box, ask two guests to help on the day.
5. Day before: chill drinks, print the registry card for the gift table.

Who hosts, and who pays for what

The convention in the US is that someone other than the expectant parents hosts: a sister, a close friend, an aunt, or a group of colleagues. The reason is practical as much as polite. A party thrown by the person receiving the gifts reads as a request, and most parents-to-be find that uncomfortable even when nobody else would mind.

Two or three co-hosts is the comfortable number. Split by task rather than by cash, then settle the money at the end. One person takes the venue and food, one takes decorations and the cake, one takes games and the thank-you list. If one host is paying for the room, let the others carry the rest and do not keep a running scoreboard in the group chat.

In the UK and Australia showers are less formal and often smaller, and self-hosting raises fewer eyebrows. If the mother-to-be wants to host her own, let her, and have a friend's name on the invite as the contact so questions do not land on her.

The guest list, and whether to make it co-ed

Fifteen to thirty guests is the usual range for a house shower, and above about thirty-five you are running an event rather than an afternoon. A useful filter: invite the people you would expect at the baby's first birthday. Ask the parents for the list rather than building it yourself, and check it against who they have told, since some of them may not know yet.

Co-ed showers are now ordinary, and they change the shape of the party more than the guest count. Food gets heartier, the pastel decorations usually go, and the games that involve guessing the size of a bump do not survive contact with a mixed room. A backyard cookout from 2 to 5 with a cooler, a grill and one short activity suits forty people better than a seated tea.

Say on the invite which it is. "Partners and friends of all kinds welcome" or "this one is the women only, we are doing a pub thing for the whole lot in July" both save a round of texts.

• Classic afternoon tea: 15 to 25 guests, two hours, seated.
• Co-ed cookout: 25 to 40, three hours, standing, grill and cooler.
• Brunch at a restaurant: 10 to 18, fixed menu, split bill stated up front.
• Office shower: 45 minutes at lunchtime, one cake, one group gift.
• Sip and see after the birth: 90 minutes, short visits, no games.

Registry wording, group gifts and the gift table

A registry line belongs on the invite, low down and in plain language. "Molly and Dev are registered at Target, and the link is on the RSVP page" is enough. Guests want the information, they want it before they go shopping, and they do not want to text the mother-to-be to ask for it.

Help people spend what they can. Ask the parents to keep items at three price points, roughly $15 to $20, $35 to $50, and one or two bigger things, so guests are not choosing between a pack of bibs and a car seat. For the expensive items, set up a group contribution and name one person to collect: six friends at $40 each covers a stroller without anyone feeling stretched.

Put the gift table away from the door, or the entrance jams in the first fifteen minutes. Assign one guest to write down who gave what as it is opened, because thank-you notes written from memory in week two of newborn life do not happen. And decide in advance whether gifts get opened at all: twenty-five presents at ninety seconds each is nearly forty minutes of people watching someone unwrap muslin.

• Keep registry items at three price tiers so a tight month still has an option.
• Name one collector for any group gift, with a per-person figure.
• Diapers and wipes are the most used and least exciting gift, so ask for them openly.
• Set the gift table away from the entrance and next to a chair.
• Give one guest the job of recording the giver of each gift.
• Offer a no-gift route: a book for the shelf, or a meal for the first week.

Games, in moderation

Two games, ten minutes each, is the right dose. The purpose is to get people who do not know each other talking, and a third round of anything undoes that. Pick games that need no performance from the guest of honor, since she is being looked at for three hours already.

The ones that work in a mixed room are guessing games with a small prize and activities that produce something. Onesie decorating gives the parents fifteen shirts and gives shy guests a table to sit at. An advice card at each place setting, with a prompt like "one thing nobody told you about week three," gets read later at 4 a.m. and is worth more than a game of baby bingo.

• Decorate a onesie with fabric pens, one per guest.
• Advice cards with a prompt, collected into a box for the parents.
• Guess the date and weight, with a small prize paid out after the birth.
• Name that nursery rhyme, played from a phone, three minutes.
• Blind diaper change, timed, for anyone brave enough to volunteer.

Gender reveals and the rest of the small print

If the parents know and plan to share it at the party, say so without spoiling it: "we find out together at 3 p.m., so please be seated by then." If they know and have already told people, write the detail in so guests can shop. If they are not finding out, say that too, and add a nudge about gifts: "no colors needed, anything in neutrals or green will be loved."

Some parents want nothing to do with a reveal, and the invite is the easiest place to settle it. One line, no apology: "no reveal, no guessing games about it, and the name stays secret until there is a baby to attach it to."

Everything else that generates questions goes in the same block at the bottom: parking, whether there is alcohol, whether children are welcome, and who to contact. On Bringalong guests can flag what they cannot eat when they reply, so you plan the mocktails and the dairy-free cake from one list rather than from memory. Guests can also add the date to their own calendar as an .ics file or into Google or Outlook.