Secret Santa generator with exclusions and private links

A hat works for a Secret Santa until someone draws their own name, or two people in a couple draw each other, or the person organizing it has to leave the room. A draw run in software fixes all three, and it lets people who are not in the same building take part.

Bringalong runs the draw on the server and hands you one private link per person. That link shows the holder who they are giving to, that person's wishlist, and a box to edit their own wishlist. The full pairing list is not shown to anyone, including you.

How the draw works

Setting it up takes about a minute and no account. You type the names, set a spending limit, set the exchange date, mark any pairs who should not be matched, and run the draw. The result is a set of private links, one per name.

The draw happens on the server, not in your browser, so the result is not sitting in your page where you could read it. You get back a list of names with a link beside each one. You can copy a link, you cannot see where it points.

1. Type in the names, one per person taking part.
2. Set the budget as a single number in your own currency.
3. Set the exchange date so it appears on everyone's link.
4. Mark exclusion pairs for couples, siblings or desk neighbors.
5. Run the draw and copy out the private links.
6. Send each person their own link by message. One link per person.

Exclusions: keeping a couple apart

An exclusion is a pair of names the draw is not allowed to match in either direction. Couples are the usual case, because two people who live together and shop together have already bought each other something. Siblings in the same house and desk neighbors who swap gifts anyway are the other two.

Here is a real draw of six. Maya, Tom, Priya, Dev, Anna and Ruben are in, and Priya and Dev are a couple, so they are marked as an exclusion pair. The draw produced a single ring: Maya gives to Dev, Dev gives to Anna, Anna gives to Priya, Priya gives to Tom, Tom gives to Ruben, Ruben gives to Maya. Everyone gives once and receives once, nobody has their own name, and Priya and Dev are matched to other people.

That is one of 168 arrangements the draw could have landed on for those six names with that one exclusion. The count matters when you add exclusions to a small group: four people split into two excluded couples leaves only four possible results, so the draw stops being much of a surprise. Mark only the pairs that have a real reason, and the pool stays wide.

• Maya gives to Dev
• Dev gives to Anna
• Anna gives to Priya
• Priya gives to Tom
• Tom gives to Ruben
• Ruben gives to Maya

What each person sees on their private link

A participant opens their link in a phone browser and sees four things: the name of the person they are buying for, that person's wishlist, the budget, and the exchange date. There is a box where they write or edit their own wishlist, which is what their giver reads.

They do not see who is buying for them, and they do not see anyone else's match. Neither do you. If you also drew a name, your link works the same way as everybody else's, so you can take part without knowing more than anyone at the table.

Wishlists stop the bad gifts

The reason gift exchanges disappoint is information, not money. Someone spends twenty on a candle because they had nothing else to go on. Ask for three or four lines, with sizes and a price, and the same twenty buys something the person wanted.

Wishlists on Bringalong are editable at any time from the private link, so a participant can add an item in week one and swap it in week three. Givers see the current version when they open their link. Tell people the wishlist deadline is a week before the exchange, since nobody shops with a blank list.

Setting a budget that holds

Pick one number and write it on the invite rather than a range, because a range of ten to thirty always gets read as thirty by one person and ten by another. The budget shows on each private link, so nobody has to remember what was agreed in October.

Common numbers are 20 or 25 for an office, 30 to 50 for close friends, 15 for a classroom. Whatever you pick, say what happens if someone finds the right gift at double the price: the answer is that they spend the budget and keep the receipt, because an expensive gift makes the person who spent twenty feel cheap.

Handing out the links

Bringalong does not email or text anybody, which keeps the draw out of the way of spam filters and means nobody needs to hand over an address. You pass the links yourself. For a family or a group of friends, that is a one-to-one message each. For an office, walk the list in order and paste one link per person.

Two rules make this painless. Send each link in a one-to-one conversation, never into the group chat, because a pasted link in a group lets anyone tap it. And send a short line with it saying that the link is theirs alone and shows one name. The messages below are ready to paste.

• Send each private link in a direct message, not a group thread.
• Tell people the link is personal and shows one name only.
• Paste the budget and the exchange date into the same message.
• Ask for a wishlist in the first message, with a date.
• Keep the organizer page open until the last link is out.
• If someone loses their link, resend the same one rather than redrawing.