Friendsgiving invitations that sort out who brings what

Friendsgiving is the easier holiday to host and the harder one to organize. There are no fixed rules about the date, the menu belongs to eight different people, and half the guest list is also going to a family dinner that week. So the invite has to carry more information than a Thanksgiving one: the day, the model, the money if there is any, and a list of food with names attached.

Bringalong handles the list part. You create the event, add potluck items with the number of servings you want for each, and share one link. Guests tap Going, claim the green bean casserole, add a plus-one and leave a note about the shellfish allergy. You keep a private manage link that shows the running count and who has claimed what.

Pick the date first, because the week is crowded

Most Friendsgivings land on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. It is the last weekend day before people start traveling, and it leaves Sunday free for the drive. The Friday or Saturday after works too, with the bonus that turkey is cheap and half your guests arrive with leftovers. Avoid the Wednesday: that is the night of flights, trains and three-hour traffic.

Start at 3 or 4 pm. An afternoon start means guests who have a second dinner can still come, people are not drinking on an empty stomach for two hours, and you get the kitchen back before midnight. Put the eating time on the invite separately from the arrival time.

• Saturday before Thanksgiving: the standard slot, send the invite three weeks out.
• Sunday before: good for a daytime, lower-key version, people leave by eight.
• Friday after Thanksgiving: cheap turkey, tired guests, a short menu.
• Saturday after: the best date if several friends travel home for the holiday itself.
• Any Wednesday or the Thursday itself: expect half your yes replies to fall through.

Decide which kind of Friendsgiving you are hosting

There are three usual shapes, and the invite should say which one it is in the first two lines. Host cooks the main, guests bring sides: you buy a 12 to 14 pound bird or two bone-in breasts, and the other eight dishes are claimed. Full potluck: you provide the space, the drinks and the oven, and somebody else brings the protein. Cost split: you cook the whole thing and each guest sends 15 to 20 dollars, which covers a bird, two cases of drinks and the sides for a table of ten.

The cost-split version needs the number written down. Guessing and then feeling resentful on Sunday is the common outcome. A 14 pound turkey, six pounds of potatoes, stuffing, two vegetable sides, cranberry sauce, rolls and two pies runs roughly 120 to 160 dollars in a US supermarket, so 15 dollars a head from ten people lands close with drinks on top.

How to divide the food for 10 or 20

The useful ratio is one dish per two guests, plus the main. Twelve guests means a turkey and about six dishes, not twelve, because people take a small spoon of several things rather than a full portion of each. Ask each person who claims a side to bring enough for eight to ten servings and you will have leftovers at any guest count.

Cap the categories on the list before you publish it, or you will get five desserts and no vegetables. Three desserts for twelve is plenty. One salad is plenty. Two starches do more work than four.

• Main: 1 pound of raw bone-in turkey per person, or two 3 pound bone-in breasts for ten.
• Potatoes: half a pound per person, so 6 pounds for twelve.
• Stuffing: three quarters of a cup per person, which is one 9 by 13 dish for twelve.
• Gravy: a third of a cup per person, so 4 cups for twelve.
• Cranberry sauce: a quarter cup per person, 3 cups for twelve.
• Rolls: two per person, and buy extra for the leftover sandwiches.
• Dessert: a 9-inch pie cuts into eight slices, so two pies plus cookies for twelve.
• Drinks: two per guest in the first hour and one an hour after, plus a pound of ice per guest.

Claiming dishes without scrolling a group chat

A sign-up in a group chat stops working at about six people. Someone claims mac and cheese on message 40, two others miss it, and on the day you have three trays of mac and cheese and no vegetables. The fix is a list that lives in one place and shows what is already taken.

On a Bringalong invite you add each item with the servings you want, and guests claim them from the same page where they RSVP. The claimed items show as taken, so the ninth person to open the link can see that stuffing is handled and cranberry sauce is not. Your manage link lists the claims next to names, and exports to CSV if you want to print it and tape it to a cabinet.

Plus-ones, roommates and the friend who brings three people

Friendsgiving guest lists grow sideways. A yes from four people turns into nine if roommates and new partners are assumed, and nine people in a room set for six is a bad evening. Decide your number from chairs and oven space, then write it on the invite: twelve seats, and the invite is for you and one other person.

If you are happy for the list to grow, say so and ask the extra guests to claim something: bring whoever you like, and have them grab a dish on the link. Either answer is fine. The failure case is leaving it unsaid and hoping. When someone asks on the Thursday before, the honest reply is that the table is at twelve and you would rather see them for drinks at eight.

Getting hot food on the table at the same time

One standard 30-inch range has one oven. If the turkey is in it until an hour before dinner, you have roughly 45 minutes of oven time for everything else, and a 9 by 13 casserole wants 30 to 35 minutes at 350 F. So two reheats, maybe three if they stack on two racks.

Write that into the sign-up. Ask for two hot dishes and let the rest be cold or room temperature: salads, cranberry sauce, bread, cheese, pie. Ask guests bringing a hot dish to arrive with it hot in a towel-wrapped dish, or to bring it in a slow cooker and claim a plug. And ask two people to bring serving spoons, since you own two.

• Two oven dishes maximum, staggered 20 minutes apart at 350 F.
• One slow cooker on warm holds mashed potatoes for four hours.
• Cold or room-temperature dishes: salad, cranberry, bread, cheese board, dessert.
• Ask for serving spoons, a trivet and one extra cutting board.
• Trash: one extra bag per five guests, out where people can see it.